A directory of people who are actually here.

What happens over time

Every persona has a last-active date. We never show that date to anyone else, because a precise last-seen timestamp is a safety problem. We show a coarse band instead, and we act on it in three stages.

• Active — activity in the last 30 days. Your persona appears normally, and search results are ordered so recent members come first.
• Dormant — no activity for 30 days. Your persona is still listed and still reachable, but it carries a visible Dormant label, and by default search is set to the last 30 days. Anyone can widen that to Any time in one click, and the option says plainly that it will include dormant profiles.
• Archived— no activity for 12 months. Your persona stops appearing in search, browse and the “people in your circles” view.

Archived does not mean deleted

We delete nothing. An archived persona keeps its writings, photographs, groups, conversations, connections and history exactly as they were. Archiving changes one thing only: whether you turn up in other people’s search results. Nobody loses a decade of their own writing because they took a year off.

This matters for a reason particular to this community. People step away from kink for all sorts of reasons: a relationship, a job with a different risk profile, illness, grief, or simply needing a break. Some never come back, and some accounts belong to people who have died. Deleting on a timer would destroy those. Hiding them from a search for local members costs nothing and is reversible.

Coming back is just showing up

There is no appeal, no form and no waiting. Log in and your persona is un-archived on your first request, automatically. We then ask you to confirm one thing before you’re listed in search again: that your location, your role and what you’re looking for are still true.

A year is long enough that people move cities, change how they identify, leave or enter relationships, or stop looking for the thing the profile still says they want. Being present with facts that expired is worse than being absent, both for you and for whoever reads it.

Why we do this at all

A member directory is only useful if it describes the present. When most of what a search returns is abandoned, people conclude their local scene is dead, or that the site is a waste of time, and they leave. That is how a platform loses a community instead of building one. Keeping the directory honest is not a courtesy, it’s the product.

It also makes the rest of discovery mean something. Filters for what someone is looking for, or whether they’ve been to an event recently, are worthless if half the results are ghosts. We built Discoverto answer “who is here and what are they part of” — not to rank people. See the Community Guidelinesfor how we expect members to approach each other once they’ve found each other.

Changing this policy

The windows above (30 days, 12 months) are the current settings. If we change them we’ll say so here and date the change, per our Transparencycommitments. If you want your account genuinely gone rather than archived, you can delete it and export everything you’ve made first — see Privacy.