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What shipped, when, in plain words. A lot of what’s on this page started as a member’s note to us — if something feels off or missing, say so. We read everything.
Photo, video, and link posts now display right on your profile, photos and all — even when you didn't add a caption. Before, a caption-less photo post could look like an empty card. And your profile stats now count your Pillow Talk essays separately, so your writing shows up alongside your posts, gallery, and vouches.
Every image uploaded to SafeHaven is now automatically checked against the established industry database of known child sexual abuse material the moment it's uploaded, using Microsoft PhotoDNA. Any match is blocked before the file is ever stored. Anything on the platform can still be reported for us to act on. Keeping minors and abuse off an adults-only platform is non-negotiable.
Your profile can now show what you're actually here for — community, learning, events, creating, meeting partners, self-expression (pick a few) — and, if you want, an honest "not here for" line like "not here for hookups." It shows on your profile and quietly reminds people how to approach you when they go to message you. Not everyone's here for the same reason, and now you can say so.
We strengthened how we handle harassment: doxxing is now its own report and comes down on review, we act faster when several people report the same account, and a ban takes effect everywhere immediately. New members' inboxes also start out asking people to engage before a first message can land. There's a new Trust & Safety page that lays out exactly how all of it works.
A new feed setting lets you hide promotional and creator accounts, so your feed stays focused on the community when that's what you're here for.
New here? There's now a plain-language guide to setting up your profile — choosing a main photo, writing a bio with a personality, adding honest interests, and the consent norms for first messages.
Give your photos captions so they're more than just pictures, and add an “Off the clock” note about your non-kink life — the hobbies and interests that actually start conversations.
You can now hide any interest from your public profile while still being matched on it — so you're discoverable for something without broadcasting it to every visitor.
You can now hide comments on your own posts and writing, and mute a member to quietly stop seeing their comments — a lighter touch than a block, and it doesn't affect anything else.
A new message setting can hold first messages until someone has commented on or followed you — so the people who reach out have already engaged with you first.
Pillow Talk now has New, Most loved, and Featured views, so the community's best long-form writing is easier to find.
When someone asks to join your event, you can now see their track record — how many events they said Going to and actually came to (counted only when the host ran door check-in), and how often they gave notice when plans changed. Giving notice counts in their favor. Visible to hosts only.
The RSVP card now tells you exactly where you stand — going, maybe, waitlisted, or waiting on the host's approval. Approval-gated events say so up front, and the address card explains when it unlocks. No more wondering whether your tap took.
A new Hosting section lists your upcoming and past events with honest attendance numbers. Open any past event to see who came, and keep private notes on attendees that only you can see.
Your RSVP now comes with a discreet QR door pass, and hosts get a phone scanner that checks people in as they arrive. Real attendance, a smoother door, and nothing on your screen but a code.
Two days out, everyone marked Going or Maybe gets a friendly one-tap email asking if they're still coming — so hosts get a real headcount before the venue calls, not a guess. Hosts can now check people in right at the door, and a new Can't make it option lets you bow out without any awkwardness.
Declining a message request now takes one tap — with three warm, pre-written notes to choose from, or decline quietly like before. If someone sends you a note with their pass, you'll see it in the thread instead of silence. A kind no costs one tap; contempt was never on the menu.
Your feed's sidebar now features first essays from members new to writing here. New folks become visible through their words — not their photos.
If you set sensitive posts to show (or blur, or hide), that choice now applies on Popular, Saved, and post pages — not just your feed.
Names now link to profiles everywhere — group posts, event pages, comments, essays. The Create page offers writing, not just images. And your own profile's empty sections now point you to the composer instead of shrugging.
The Library now has instant search (press / from any Library page), a full A–Z of every term, denser category pages, and previous/next links so you can read your way through a whole topic.
A free, honest self-assessment: about five minutes, no account needed. Share your result or add it to your profile so the right people can find you.
The first 100 verified members get free lifetime membership — grandfathered before paid tiers ever exist. Every member also has a personal invite link to share.
Joining a private group now waits for an owner or moderator to approve you, and groups can appoint moderators. Your space stays your space.
Hosts can approve RSVPs before names appear. Every event gets add-to-calendar, a printable QR for flyers, and an area map that shows the neighborhood — never an exact address until the host unlocks it.
Structured, consent-first listings: what you're looking for, who may respond, and replies that flow through the same request gate as any first message. Community connection, on your terms.
Two hundred plain-language entries on kink, BDSM, and relationships — what terms mean, how they're practiced, and the safety notes that matter. Free to read, no account required.
Photos, video, link cards, bookmarks, and comments landed in the feed. And messages became consent-first: a stranger's first message waits in Requests, and no photos can arrive until you accept.