Relationship Structures

A comet partner is someone in a polyamorous or non-monogamous network with whom you share a meaningful, often intense connection, but who orbits in and out of your life on an irregular schedule rather than staying in regular ongoing contact. The name evokes a comet's orbit: they may disappear for months or years, then return for a period of closeness before drifting off again.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) is a non-monogamy arrangement in which partners agree that outside relationships are permitted but details about them are not shared. It lets people open a relationship while maintaining a boundary of not-knowing, which some find protective and others find limiting.

Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella term for any relationship structure in which people can have more than one romantic or sexual partner, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It matters because it names a wide range of honest, negotiated alternatives to monogamy — distinguishing openness and agreement from cheating or deception.

Hierarchical polyamory is a form of ethical non-monogamy in which some relationships are explicitly given more priority, commitment, or decision-making authority than others—often centered on a designated primary partnership. It matters because clearly naming a relationship's structure helps everyone involved understand where they stand and consent to the arrangement with open eyes.

Kitchen Table Polyamory (KTP) is a style of polyamory in which everyone connected through a shared partner—including metamours—is comfortable interacting directly and warmly, symbolized by all being able to sit at the same kitchen table for coffee. It emphasizes openness, integration, and friendly relationships across a polycule, rather than keeping partners separate.

A metamour is your partner's other partner — someone connected to you through a shared partner rather than through a direct romantic or sexual relationship. The term is central to polyamorous vocabulary and gives people a neutral, respectful way to name and navigate these indirect connections.

Monogamy is a relationship structure in which two partners agree to be romantically and sexually exclusive with one another. It is one of many valid ways to structure intimate relationships, and like any structure it works best when it's an intentional, communicated agreement rather than an unexamined default.

A nesting partner is a partner you share a home with. In polyamory and other non-monogamous structures, the term describes practical, everyday cohabitation—shared space, chores, finances, and daily logistics—without implying that this partner ranks above others emotionally or is more 'important' than metamours.

Non-hierarchical polyamory is a form of ethical non-monogamy in which no relationship is automatically ranked above another or granted default authority over the others. Instead of assigning 'primary' or 'secondary' status, partners let each connection develop on its own terms, negotiating commitments individually rather than by rank.

Parallel polyamory is a polyamorous style in which a person's different relationships remain largely separate, with metamours (your partners' other partners) having little or no direct contact with one another. It prioritizes autonomy and clear boundaries between relationship 'lanes,' making it a common structure for people who value privacy or find socializing across their partnerships stressful.

Polyamory is the practice of maintaining multiple loving, romantic relationships at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It centers honesty, communication, and mutual agreement rather than secrecy, and is one of several forms of ethical non-monogamy.

A polycule is the interconnected network of people linked through polyamorous relationships — partners, and their partners' partners (metamours). The word blends 'poly' and 'molecule,' evoking a diagram of connected atoms, and it's a useful shorthand for describing a relationship web that extends beyond any single couple.

A primary partner is, within hierarchical polyamory, the person with whom someone shares the deepest practical and often emotional entanglement — typically a shared home, finances, children, or long-term life plans. The label signals a relationship that holds structural priority, though what 'primary' means varies enormously between people and is defined by mutual agreement rather than a fixed rulebook.

Relationship Anarchy (RA) is an approach to relationships that rejects prescribed rules, ranking, and hierarchies, holding that each connection can be defined by the people in it rather than by social scripts. Instead of assuming that romance outranks friendship or that partners are entitled to certain default behaviors, RA emphasizes autonomy, ongoing communication, and building each bond intentionally.

Solo polyamory is a polyamorous approach in which a person maintains multiple loving or sexual relationships while keeping their personal autonomy and typically their own single-person household at the center of their life. Solo poly people generally don't seek to merge finances, homes, or identities with partners, and they prioritize self-determination over the traditional escalator of coupledom.

Swinging is a form of ethical non-monogamy in which committed couples engage in sexual activity with other people, often together and in social settings, while generally keeping deeper romantic bonds reserved for their primary relationship. It emphasizes shared recreational sex, communication, and mutually agreed boundaries, and is one of the more socially organized styles of consensual non-monogamy.